The Two-Space Rule
Have you read the latest typing rule? Here it is for all you dear folks who have been typing since we had those old manual beasts. "Thou shalt not put more than one space between sentences." According to the newest typing manuals, the extra space between the sentence was all the fault of those nasty typing monsters from the dark ages. Therefore, we do not need the extra space any longer. What will they come up with next?
First it was the commas. "Thou mayest no longer place a comma after every place in a sentence where someone might normally breathe." Then "ain't" became a real word. When I was a student "Ain't ain't in the dictionary so we "ain't" supposed to use it." I could go on, but it might make you all nauseated. It is making me sick to my stomach.
This two-space rule is the last straw. How could they do this to me? I have been typing forever. I slaved over a manual typewriter learning all the rules, and finally mastered them. Do you know how painful it was to have to hit that awful space bar twice every time I came to the end of the sentence? I got sore thumbs doing it. I worked hard and suffered pain to develop the habit of hitting that space bar twice. I don't even think about it now. It's second nature. All of a sudden, they are telling me (and thousands of other typists, oh excuse me. I forgot, it's "keyboardists") that we have to retrain our fingers and our brains to not hit that space bar two times after a sentence? Don't they know we hit that space bar more times in a day than a chain smoker smokes cigarettes?
And what about our poor eyes? Take that little space out, and we suddenly have a jumbled mess. No wonder children are having reading problems. Every thing is so squished together on the pages, they can't tell where one sentence ends and the other begins.
Want to know what this new little rule is all about? Just like the comma rule and the "ain't" rule and all the other grammar rules that have changed in the last 30 years, it's all about selling textbooks. What money is there in printing the same old grammar rules year after year? If the rules never changed, I could get out my old Harbrace College Handbook and use it to teach my 12 year old all the grammar rules she will ever need to know. There's not a dime to be made in that. But what if they change the rules? Then, I'll have to go out and buy the most up-to-date edition of Harbrace, and someone will have made some money. It's a conspiracy.
Well, I have had enough. Here's how it stands with me. I will continue to call typists, typists, not keyboardists. A keyboardist is someone who plays a keyboard musical instrument such as a digital piano. I will not use the word "ain't". Sadly, I've already had to bow down to the comma rules, but maybe, just maybe I can hold out on the two-space rule. My poor brain can't handle the change.
First it was the commas. "Thou mayest no longer place a comma after every place in a sentence where someone might normally breathe." Then "ain't" became a real word. When I was a student "Ain't ain't in the dictionary so we "ain't" supposed to use it." I could go on, but it might make you all nauseated. It is making me sick to my stomach.
This two-space rule is the last straw. How could they do this to me? I have been typing forever. I slaved over a manual typewriter learning all the rules, and finally mastered them. Do you know how painful it was to have to hit that awful space bar twice every time I came to the end of the sentence? I got sore thumbs doing it. I worked hard and suffered pain to develop the habit of hitting that space bar twice. I don't even think about it now. It's second nature. All of a sudden, they are telling me (and thousands of other typists, oh excuse me. I forgot, it's "keyboardists") that we have to retrain our fingers and our brains to not hit that space bar two times after a sentence? Don't they know we hit that space bar more times in a day than a chain smoker smokes cigarettes?
And what about our poor eyes? Take that little space out, and we suddenly have a jumbled mess. No wonder children are having reading problems. Every thing is so squished together on the pages, they can't tell where one sentence ends and the other begins.
Want to know what this new little rule is all about? Just like the comma rule and the "ain't" rule and all the other grammar rules that have changed in the last 30 years, it's all about selling textbooks. What money is there in printing the same old grammar rules year after year? If the rules never changed, I could get out my old Harbrace College Handbook and use it to teach my 12 year old all the grammar rules she will ever need to know. There's not a dime to be made in that. But what if they change the rules? Then, I'll have to go out and buy the most up-to-date edition of Harbrace, and someone will have made some money. It's a conspiracy.
Well, I have had enough. Here's how it stands with me. I will continue to call typists, typists, not keyboardists. A keyboardist is someone who plays a keyboard musical instrument such as a digital piano. I will not use the word "ain't". Sadly, I've already had to bow down to the comma rules, but maybe, just maybe I can hold out on the two-space rule. My poor brain can't handle the change.
Comments
This is Jacob (FenderPriest) from the Puritan Board. My wife and I had a run in a few months ago over this issue. Some what of a nerd fight, all in good fun, over the issue of two spaces v. one. I, of course being the man of the house, insisted that the two space rule was bunk, and worthless, and the venom of Satan in our English tongue - she, in all gentleness and sweetness, held that it was an obsolete rule. Having both been studious Liberal Arts majors and graduates, we had backlogs for our cases... Anyhow, you're not alone here!
Thanks for the comments. I have been informed by some of my writer friends that their publishers insist on one space between each sentence. It's crazy.