Not Lonely Anymore
When we have something for a long time, we tend to take it for granted. For me, it's been my friends and my family. As I mentioned earlier on this blog, all my close friends and family seem to have disappeared out of my life (at least temporarily). This weekend, the aloneness was complete. We went to the lake, but I went home early to take care of the animals while my husband and daughters stayed with grandma. I was all alone. I felt like I was single again.
This morning, as I drove (all alone) the 25 miles to the church, I reminisced on my 12 years as a single person. Those were lonely years. I had few friends and only one or two close friends. In those days, I didn't understand about trusting God to meet my needs. Today, I wondered if I have really learned anything in the last 16 years since I married and had children.
I tell my single friends to trust God and let Him meet their needs. I tell them that I have learned that even in married life it can get very lonely, and you have to learn to lean on God for all your needs. Yet, here I was faced with total loneliness for a measly 24 hours, and I wasn't certain I could deal with it. Sure, I could keep myself occupied. I have a lot of hobbies, and it's great to have the time to do them. But the question is not whether I can keep myself occupied with things to do or not. The question is will I use these things to distract me from the emptiness I feel when my friends and family are not around me, or will I run to Christ to meet my needs? Is Christ really enough for me?
At that moment, I realized that no matter how much I think I have learned in the last 16 years, I still need the Lord more than anything. I also learned to be thankful for the moments I have with my children, my husband, my friends, my church. I also had a renewed dose of the struggle my single friends have. They need the Lord, but they also need my friendship and support.
When worship was over this morning, someone from the church invited me to join them at the church's fellowship dinner. Like I did as a single person years ago, I said, "Sure, I'm not busy." What a blessing it was to share a meal with these people and enjoy singing and studying God's Word together. God filled the loneliness, but not simply by coming in and meeting the needs of my heart by Himself (though He is perfectly capable of doing that and has done that for me many times). Instead, He used His people, my family in Christ. This is what it means to belong to the body of Christ. What a blessing!
This morning, as I drove (all alone) the 25 miles to the church, I reminisced on my 12 years as a single person. Those were lonely years. I had few friends and only one or two close friends. In those days, I didn't understand about trusting God to meet my needs. Today, I wondered if I have really learned anything in the last 16 years since I married and had children.
I tell my single friends to trust God and let Him meet their needs. I tell them that I have learned that even in married life it can get very lonely, and you have to learn to lean on God for all your needs. Yet, here I was faced with total loneliness for a measly 24 hours, and I wasn't certain I could deal with it. Sure, I could keep myself occupied. I have a lot of hobbies, and it's great to have the time to do them. But the question is not whether I can keep myself occupied with things to do or not. The question is will I use these things to distract me from the emptiness I feel when my friends and family are not around me, or will I run to Christ to meet my needs? Is Christ really enough for me?
At that moment, I realized that no matter how much I think I have learned in the last 16 years, I still need the Lord more than anything. I also learned to be thankful for the moments I have with my children, my husband, my friends, my church. I also had a renewed dose of the struggle my single friends have. They need the Lord, but they also need my friendship and support.
When worship was over this morning, someone from the church invited me to join them at the church's fellowship dinner. Like I did as a single person years ago, I said, "Sure, I'm not busy." What a blessing it was to share a meal with these people and enjoy singing and studying God's Word together. God filled the loneliness, but not simply by coming in and meeting the needs of my heart by Himself (though He is perfectly capable of doing that and has done that for me many times). Instead, He used His people, my family in Christ. This is what it means to belong to the body of Christ. What a blessing!
Comments
Thank you for your honesty. When we are on our own for a long time, we can get the feeling that no one loves us or wants us. I can remember crying myself to sleep many a night when I was single. It wasn't until I began to learn to serve others as Christ serves others that I began to feel settled as a single person. You are in my prayers, and I pray that God will send someone along soon.
Joy